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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25595149">Zusammen</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asphyxiation, Blindfolds, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hand &amp; Finger Kink, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Time Skip, School Reunion, erotic asphyxiation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:36:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25595149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank to Leah, Lara &amp; Kaashi for organizing this Shiratorizawa FanWeek it was a fun challenge for me!</p><p>In this fic you'll find one theme of each day of the week: Day 1: Breakfast - Day 2: Ring - Day 3: Toothbrush - Day 4: Reunion - Day 5: Formal Wear - Day 6: Jacket - Day 7: Hands</p><p>Also as it is a GoshiGata fic, this work is heavily inspired by Kaashi's work.<br/>So thank you and I hope you'll enjoy it boo. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ</p><p> </p><p>"Zusammen" means "Together" in German<br/>(It's one of the only words I know in German so let me brag about it please.) (Also I hope I got it right. ಠ~ಠ)</p><p>-----</p><p>Anoher important thing: I made a lot of researches about EA (Erotic Asphyxiation) to write this fic, I tried to include a lot of realistic and educational informations, BUT it's still words from someone who don't practice those kind of plays, so if you want to try it, please do your own researches first as those plays can lead to sever injuries and even death.</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Goshiki Tsutomu/Yamagata Hayato</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous, Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Zusammen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank to Leah, Lara &amp; Kaashi for organizing this Shiratorizawa FanWeek it was a fun challenge for me!</p><p>In this fic you'll find one theme of each day of the week: Day 1: Breakfast - Day 2: Ring - Day 3: Toothbrush - Day 4: Reunion - Day 5: Formal Wear - Day 6: Jacket - Day 7: Hands</p><p>Also as it is a GoshiGata fic, this work is heavily inspired by Kaashi's work.<br/>So thank you and I hope you'll enjoy it boo. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ</p><p> </p><p>"Zusammen" means "Together" in German<br/>(It's one of the only words I know in German so let me brag about it please.) (Also I hope I got it right. ಠ~ಠ)</p><p>-----</p><p>Anoher important thing: I made a lot of researches about EA (Erotic Asphyxiation) to write this fic, I tried to include a lot of realistic and educational informations, BUT it's still words from someone who don't practice those kind of plays, so if you want to try it, please do your own researches first as those plays can lead to sever injuries and even death.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“SURPRISE!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wakatoshi was staring at them, blinking like he was trying to understand what was happening before his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey big guy, your friends came to congratulate you on your big event. Maybe you could act a little bit more, I don't know, happy?” said Hayato, trying to unlock any reaction from his former captain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's not my big event. It's a sponsorship gala,” Wakatoshi said blankly. He leaned slightly towards Satori and although everybody could hear him, he whispered, "I don't understand, is it a surprise? You said you were bringing the </span>
  <em>
    <span>whole gang</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright, it's already too many emotions for tonight. Stop it, I can't bear it anymore, you're killing me,” exclaimed Satori.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I miss something?” asked Taichi, who was just coming back from the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, just Wakatoshi being himself,” Shirabu answered him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let's start again from the beginning!” Satori straightened up a bit. “Hey Wakatoshi, congratulations on your new sponsorship and re-signing with the Adlers for another season.” He grabbed the Ace's shoulder with his long fingers and made a big gesture towards the rest of the group. “As you can see, your former teammates from high school have come to congratulate you and spend some time with you on this big day. Consider it as a reunion in your honor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wakatoshi peered at Satori. “Oh.” He took a deep bow towards his friends. “Thank you for coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, that's enough for me. Congrats. Hitting the bar now, who's coming with me?” Eita said before he turned tail towards the bar. “See you later Wakatosh',” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey I'm coming!” Reon beamed at Wakatoshi and initiated a high five the wing spiker took an awkward time to reciprocate. “Congratulations again, Wakatoshi, you deserve it.” He slapped his former captain's back with his big hand. “See you later.” He went chasing after Eita who was already ordering a drink. “Hey wait for me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations, man, you make us all very proud.” Taichi squeezed the athlete’s biceps with his also rather large hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, very proud,” Kenjirou said in a tone that almost made it sound like an insult. But Hayato knew better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beside him, Tsutomu who still hadn’t said a word since they arrived, was trying to contain himself but nobody was fooled. Hayato loved it when his boyfriend had a hard time dealing with his excitement. He was the cutest. He was blushing, his lips were pressed in a thin line and his whole body was literally vibrating. A bit like he had an urgent need to go to the toilets, but in a cuter way. Although Hayato actually found it cute when Tsutomu needed to pee, but that's another story for another time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wakotoshi was his senpai in high school and Tsutomu always looked up to him. He was his role model in a way, and this party was showing off everything Tsutomu was aspiring to be. Everybody knew it was a huge deal for Wakatoshi, even if he didn’t show it particularly, and they really were all very proud of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Satori finished a long rant about how Wakatoshi was a baby eagle who finally took his first flight or whatever nonsense Hayato didn’t care to listen, he turned towards Tsutomu and finally let him the floor to let out what he was holding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have anything to say to your senpai, Tsutomu?” he teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CONGRATULATIONS USHIJIMA SENPAI!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone, even Wakatoshi, laughed at the blunt intervention. Hayato could have been jealous at the admiration his boyfriend had for the athlete, but the truth was they all admired Wakatoshi, Tsutomu was just more honest about it. And had some trouble managing his excitement. Nothing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Goshiki-kun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, please guys, stop it with the formalities already, we’re not in high school anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Satori was right, it had been a long time since they all dropped the politeness of addressing each other using their last names. But Tsutomu always used it with Wakatoshi and Hayato suspected that Wakatoshi used it to please Tsutomu in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Ace extended an arm and presented his huge hand to Tsutomu for a handshake. His boyfriend looked at it for a second and took it with enthusiasm, and shook it animatedly. It was Christmas and Tsutomu just encountered Santa Claus. Hayato found it very endearing the way this 22-year-old full grown ass man was still excited for the same things as his 16-year-old self.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The star of the night put his other huge hand on top of their handshake and smiled at Tsutomu.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your hands are very big!” Tsutomu blurted out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wakatoshi’s eyebrows rose up for a second and everyone started another round of laughter. Tsutomu’s eruptions were always a lot of fun. This time though, Hayato had a hard time to join the collective glee and felt a certain urge to break up their handshake, but he didn’t know why. He wasn’t jealous. He knew all this was just Tsutomu being a fanboy and a bit of healthy rivalry. So why was he upset all of the sudden?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wakatoshi peeled his big palms off their touch before excusing himself saying he had multiple people to see tonight but that he will see them around later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all decided to join the others at the bar to “keep the party going” as Satori said. Hayato ordered for him and Tsutomu. A beer for him and a glass of white wine for his boyfriend. While they were waiting for their drinks, Kenjirou stretched out a long arm between them to grab his cocktail the barmaid had just served. Hayato couldn’t help himself noticing his long digits elongating to reach his beverage and wrapping around the glass elegantly. Then he remembered Kenjirou was a former setter, and he was training to be a doctor, so he figured it was normal his hands reflected the use he had of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they all got their drinks they settled at the end of the bar to talk and catch up on what was going on about their respective lives. It was weird to see all his high school friends at the same place at once. They were all wearing formal wears and looked like a bunch of important men. Except Eita who, whatever he was wearing, looked like a rockstar with his long hair and his smudged eyeliner. Tsutomu was especially gorgeous as his suit jacket was slightly too tight for his frame. He bought it a year prior and had gained some muscle since then. Hayato couldn’t wait until he could get it off his shoulders once they will be back at their apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course they talked a lot about volleyball, even if no balls and nets were involved, all this party was about volleyball. Also there were some pro volleyball players among them. At some point Kenjirou and Eita excused themselves saying they needed another refill, probably bored by all this volleyball stuff which didn’t concern them anymore anyway. Hayato also suspected they wanted to catch some time together as well, alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Contrary to earlier Tsutomu was the one who did most of the talking, but it was understandable as he was the only one among them to play for a first division team, he even knew most of the people attending the party. Hayato was so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> proud of him. There was something very endearing about watching his boyfriend stopping his story now and then to shake some hands. Important hands, potential sponsors hands. Rich hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of those hands belonged to a particularly beautiful petite woman who stopped to greet Tsutomu. She was one of the sponsors invited to the party. They exchanged polite small talks, until she turned suddenly towards Satori.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, are you Tendou Satori?” she asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Satori raised an eyebrow and seemed surprised for a second before his eternal playful expression came back to his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, depends on who's asking,” he said playfully as he wiggled his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman snickered, apparently not impressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard about you in one of Ushijima-san's interviews. He told me once you were the one who asked him to talk about you when he would become a famous player. I guess it’s a good friend you have here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time the round of laughter was at Satori’s expense. Everyone knew he liked cute girls and he just had been roasted by one specifically matching his criterias.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I must leave you, I have plenty of other hands to shake tonight.” She paused, massaging her nape. “Damn, my neck feels terrible after looking at all those giants. But you know what I mean.” She said with a smile, winking at Hayato. “Good evening gentlemen, enjoy the party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she left Hayato felt a certain rush of blood to his cheeks, but not one of the good kind. He wasn’t used anymore to people addressing him on his height. It had been a long time since he spent an evening with gigantic volleyball players. Of course, everyday on the court he was surrounded by giants, but they were his teammates, his colleagues per se, he rarely went out at the bar with them, at least not with the whole lot at once. The woman’s comment threw him back to his high school years where he took stupid pride in being one of the tallest liberos in the prefecture. Now, as a pro volleyball player, in a room of his peers, he suddenly felt very small.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends engaged in another discussion, but he couldn’t follow. His mind was lost in self rambling about how he was small and insignificant, puny even. They didn’t see his shoulders slumping down and his brows furrowed as he thought about the exchange between Wakatoshi and Tsutomu earlier, and how his boyfriend looked good beside someone bigger, someone his height. How Wakatoshi's big hands grabbed Tsutomu’s…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As always, when he was in this type of mood, his mind had the habit of picking something bothersome and becoming completely fixated on it. This time, his brain chose to focus on his hands. His tiny, babyish, crooked, weak hands. He looked at them, holding this huge pint of beer and they felt even smaller in comparison. He played volleyball for several years now and like all volleyball players, his hands had encountered some damages and it reflected on their structure. His right thumb for example, bent at a weird angle since that time he made a bad reception after a bad receive. His fingers were short and thin, not like Eita the musician or Kenjirou the doctor. His nails were more than short, almost nonexistent due to years of cutting them with a clipper instead of using a file like most players did. But it was taking too much time with a file and he was now paying for his laziness. Truly his hands were just tiny and ugly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt very bad all of the sudden. He had trouble breathing. He needed some air. He excused himself, saying he had to go to the bathroom, but instead took a turn and headed towards the balcony where people went out for a smoke. Once out, he took a deep breath to help fight the rising of the overflowing wave of self depreciation that often went with those episodes. A bad thought would lead to another and he would soon end up crying. But this time he had to hold back. He was at a big event, full of important people, with his oldest friends, he couldn’t start crying and ruin everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In those moments, he felt very vulnerable and insecure. He knew everything was only happening in his head. He knew those thoughts were just his brain trying to bully him, but he couldn’t do anything to fight it. The worst was that he started to see everything in black and putting the blame on others. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did Satori invite them here? Was it only to brag about his successful best friend and make them feel inferior? Especially Hayato who was only a division 2 player. And Wakatoshi was playing innocent but he was obviously in cahoots with Satori. Hayato saw his big hands lingering on Tsutomu. It was obvious he wanted to steal Tsutomu away from him. He always had. Since they were teenagers, Wakatoshi was always bragging around Tsutomu, always playing the captain-ace-super-hero in front of him. But Hayato was the one who was always encouraging and supporting his kouhai. He always believed in him, while Wakatoshi was only here to show off. Even after all the compliments  he  gave him, Tsutomu was always  looking  for  their captain’s approval. That should count for something right? And anyway, where was Tsutomu right now? Why wasn’t he here with Hayato? He should have been here, supporting him, the way himself did for years. Yes Hayato said he was going to the bathroom, but his boyfriend should have sensed something was wrong. He should have been by his side. But no, he didn’t care, he was certainly still fantasising about the big manly hands holding his earlier. He was certainly wondering why he was dating such a small guy with ugly hands instead of a big and muscular guy like Ushijima Wakatoshi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato tried to fight it, he really tried but this whole evening was too much for him, it was too much for his self esteem to take in. He knew Tsutomu loved him. He knew it wasn’t fair to expect for his boyfriend to be able to read his mind. He knew Wakatoshi was certainly not interested in people this way anyway. He knew Satori didn’t feel like he or anybody was inferior. He knew his hands weren’t that ugly and that Tsutomu certainly didn’t care about them. Deep down he knew it. But his brain couldn’t let him see it right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He balled his tiny, ugly hands into fists and squeezed his short fingers as hard as he could. If only they could disappear right here, right now, he sure would feel better. His knuckles started to turn white, it hurt, but he didn’t care. His stupid hands deserved to be hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he felt something on his back. Something big and warm. For a second Hayato found comfort in the touch. He turned around. Of course it was Wakatoshi’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hayato, are you feeling alright there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to answer. He didn’t know what he must have looked like. His whole body was tense, his face was scrunched up and tears started collecting at the corners of his eyes. He certainly looked mental. Hopefully Wakatoshi wasn’t the type to judge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato took another deep breath and answered as calmly as he could. “Yes Wakatoshi, I’m alright. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey Wakatoshi!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone called in English.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The someone was none other than Nicollas Romero, star player of the contemporary volleyball scene, who was coming towards them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato rapidly closed his eyes and turned his face in the opposite direction. He couldn’t face one of his idols like that. It wasn’t a good moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re nearly up for your speech, man.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m coming right away,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> answered Wakatoshi with a sharp Japanese accent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he wasn’t good at everything after all, Hayato couldn’t help himself thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh hey! You’re Hayato Yamagata right?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato slowly opened his eyes. Was Romero talking to him? Really? He wiped his face quickly with the sleeve of his dress jacket and peered at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Damn! I saw your match against the Frogs! You made some epic digs right there dude!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato understood English from some TV series and movies he often watched, but he couldn’t believe what he just heard. His mouth dropped agape, unable to answer anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The top player in Japan just complimented his skills.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay let’s go Ushijima, they’re waiting for you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Ushijima looked over Hayato's shoulder. “Tsutomu, you should get Hayato a glass of water. See you later,” Wakatoshi said before following Romero inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato turned around to find his boyfriend looking at him with stars in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babe! Did I understand right?” Tsutomu wasn’t very good at English. “Did he just say you made good receives against the Frogs?” There was this specific Tsutomu Goshiki excitement in his voice. The one that could make you feel like what he was talking about was probably the best thing on earth if he said so. “Damn I’m so jealous! You got a compliment from the one and only Nicollas Romero!” He was blushing and his whole body was vibrating. “I told you you were on top of your game during this match!” He stopped suddenly, his eyes going wide. “What is it babe? You weren’t coming back from the bathroom so I looked around for you. Are you feeling alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must have noticed Hayato’s blotchy face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… okay now.” Hayato sighed, everything that was tangling in his brain earlier started to loosen his grip on his mind. “I’m glad you found me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu brought a hand, a big and soft hand, to cup Hayato’s face. “What was it this time?” he asked, voice low and soft. He stroked his thumb over Hayato’s cheek. Tsutomu seemed so mature like this. He wasn’t the wild boy he fell for anymore. He was a strong and reliable adult who he could trust with all his heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato looked down at his fists, still tightly closed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My hands,” he simply said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Tsutomu understood. He looked down and Hayato immediately relaxed his fists. He didn’t want for Tsutomu to see him like this, and yet he saw him so many times during his episodes already. How was he able to stick with him anyway?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mere.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu reached for his fingers, detangling them slowly. His hands hurt. But it was what he was going for after all, so he couldn’t complain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have the prettiest hands.” His boyfriend was smiling pensively. “And you know what babe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu chuckled, his chest quivering, his eyes slightly closing upward pushed by his cheekbones rising with glee. He was beautiful when he laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s those hands that made all those perfect digs against the Frogs two weeks ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato chuckled. It was wonderful how he was on the verge of meltdown a minute before, but now his boyfriend was here talking to him, his heart starting to swell with love. How was Tsutomu able to do that? He must be some kind of magician.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry… I was having-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh, don’t say anything, just breathe for now. We’re gonna find you that glass of water, and then we will find a way to excuse ourselves as soon as possible to get back home, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to. I’m okay, I swear. And it’s such a huge opportunity for you to be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nu-uh, you know it’s not. Didn’t you say that athletes’ skills are supposed to show on the court and not at social events?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said that because I was jealous of Wakatoshi,” Hayato mumbled, not proud of himself now that he thought of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please babe, let me take care of my senpai as he always does with me. Just returning the favor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh don’t call me that, we’re too old for this, it doesn’t count anymore. Not here anyway,” Hayato answered with a faint crease between his brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It counts for me.” Tsutomu’s tongue peeked out through his lips. “And I know you like it,” he added with a wink before turning around and leading him toward the hall holding his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato still couldn’t believe the little kouhai he fell in love with became such a beautiful and confident man. He was still bothered by all the glamour around them and how he didn’t seem to belong, but being here with Tsutomu made things easier. He felt very lucky for a moment. He felt like sticking around him was the best choice he ever did in his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They reached the bar to ask for a glass of water. The barmaid congratulated them for thinking to hydrate, which made them both laugh. When they came back to their friends, Hayato’s breath was steadier and even if his shoulders were still a bit tense, his hands were completely stretched out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they arrived, Wakatoshi’s speech was ending and Hayato heard Reon saying something like “I can’t believe this super volleyball idiot is now playing alongside Romero.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>because </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’s a super volleyball idiot that he now plays alongside Romero,” Kenjirou answered, which made the whole group laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as Wakatoshi left the stage, he came to see them as promised. They all reenacted their rounds of congratulations at which Wakatoshi nodded mindfully. Hayato noticed how some handshakes were exchanged, but how Tsutomu’s hands didn’t leave his while he smiled politely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon after he yawned noisily, sounding as fake as possible, and made it an excuse that they had to head home. Hayato wanted to laugh at him but played along, which didn’t stop Satori to snicker at the bad acting. It made Tsutomu blush as the clumsy boy he truly was, the strong and reliable adult gone for just a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they got home, Tsutomu was about to discard his jacket when Hayato stopped him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me do this, I dreamt about it all night long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? What do you mean?” asked Tsutomu confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to help you out of your jacket.” Hayato eyed him pointedly. “It looks very tight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw the red coloring his boyfriend's cheeks. “Ah, I wasn’t aware it was evident that it’s a bit small for me now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that evident, I just know your looks,” Hayato reassured him. He stepped closer to him and reached for the buttons holding the jacket together. They seemed on the verge of giving up and flying across the room. Hayato unbuttoned the jacket and slid his hands on his boyfriend’s broad shoulders. He felt blood rush to his cheeks. He cleared his throat and helped Tsutomu out of his jacket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu chuckled. “What do you say we drink a cup of tea and you tell me all about what happened out there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was right. It was not the moment to be aroused. They just avoided a panic attack. And yet what a better way to cope than a nice intimate moment with his boyfriend. Hayato cleared his throat again. “Yeah, right. You make the tea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu chuckled once more but went to the kitchen to achieve his duty anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he brought back two cups of some steamy infusion smelling like cherry, Hayato settled himself on the couch, waiting. Tsutomu put the two beverages on the coffee table and initiated the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what happened? What was the trigger?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato felt suddenly very tired. He had to talk to his boyfriend and explain what happened, but it was such a pain to admit what insecurities he had. Deep down he knew what was really the trigger out there, but it was easier to keep it as a </span>
  <em>
    <span>ugly hands</span>
  </em>
  <span> problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think what made me go overboard, is when Wakatoshi held your hands.” He felt dumb saying it. “He really does have gorgeous hands, large and strong and </span>
  <em>
    <span>successful</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he saw the look change on Tsutomu’s face, he knew he said something wrong. He considered them as adults most of the time, but he often forgot Tsutomu was only 22 years old and maybe he was not old enough to deal with his mood swings and all the implications brought by dating his messed up ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And often, when he expected it the least, Tsutomu proved him wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean by successful?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato was now facing two big eyes waiting for an explanation. He considered fleeing the conversation, saying he was tired and wanted to go to bed, but he couldn’t do that to Tsutomu. Kind and caring Tsutomu, who was always here for him, despite everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato sighed in defeat. “You know what I mean. He is successful, anybody can see that. He’s my age and he already achieved so much. It’s wonderful truly, but it’s… Infuriating sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There. He said it. He knew he shouldn’t have because even if Wakatoshi was a star player with his face on the billboards, Tsutomu was also a successful first division player, and he didn’t want his boyfriend to feel bad about something he worked for and deserved so much. He didn’t want him to feel guilty because he was more successful than his lover.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah. So this is what it’s about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m sorry. I shouldn’t feel so insecure about this. And I shouldn’t make you bear my sorrows, you’re not responsib-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey no don’t say that please!” Tsutomu’s face was red and his eyes were bigger than ever. “We’re a team. I know we’re not playing together anymore, but we’re together now, and I hope, it’s forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato’s heart missed a beat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babe, you’re a wonderful athlete, and a wonderful person. Please don’t doubt yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu leant a little more forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know all of this is just determined by luck, right?” Tsutomu’s shoulders dropped slightly. “We talked about it a while ago with Ushijima-senpai.” He let out a sigh. “In our field there’s plenty of talented people and they all want to be in the spotlight. What makes one stand out from the crowd is often insignificant. For Ushijima-senpai, it was because he’s left handed, for example. For me it was because I went to Shiratorizawa and got confident enough to pursue the Ace position. And you know what?” He plunged shiny eyes in Hayato’s. “It was you. You were the one who always supported me. Who pushed me to do better. You were the one who gave me confidence in myself. You were my luck…Senpai,” he added with a faint smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato’s jaw dropped agape. He wanted to answer something, anything, but sounds refused to leave his mouth. His eyes were scanning through Tsutomu’s, trying to find any kind of help to phrase his words, and he met pure tenderness and affection. Something broke within him. He didn’t know if it was because of the kind and reassuring words, or the overflow of today’s emotions, but he couldn’t hold it anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cried. He cried a lot, warm tears streaming across his face, digging salty trails on his cheeks. He couldn’t remember what happened exactly, he only knew his boyfriend was here, murmuring kind words to his ear, maybe a kiss or two here and there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he calmed down, he found himself in Tsutomu’s arms, face buried in the crook of his neck. Tsutomu talked first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew it wasn’t about your hands, because we both know your hands are beautiful and amazing. I mean… With all the things you can do with them, you know how much I value them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato choked out a laugh. He leaned back to have a better look at his boyfriend. “Are you really talking about what I think you’re talking about right now?” he asked, a mischievous grin drawing on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think I’m talking about… Senpai?” Tsutomu asked, mirroring Hayato’s smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato cleared his throat. “You know, there's a very thin line between being extraordinarily horny and being on the verge of a breakdown.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you don’t say!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu looked very excited all of the sudden. He propped himself on his knees, his body vibrating from head to toes. It was like watching a puppy swing his tail from to side. Hayato was very fond of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You only like my tiny hands, because they make your dick look bigger,” Hayato teased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu puffed his cheeks and pouted like a child. “This is not what I meant,” he mumbled, blushing from the base of his neck to the tip of his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but you thought it very loudly,” Hayato said, deadpan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just meant, your hands are always precise and skilled when we… You always have been the only one I ever trusted to… You know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Hayato finally realised what his boyfriend was implying. “You’re talking about the EA.” He felt a rush of blood to his crotch at the simple mention of the sexual play.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Months into their relationship, they both discovered their common interest for many sex plays. Erotic A</span>
  <span>sphyxiation was one of them. Tsutomu loved it. Particularly because, except for some bruises and a sore throat from time to time, he never got any awful after effects due to Hayato’s wonderful skills. His boyfriend was a master at it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, your hands are perfect when it comes to that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu took Hayato’s hands in his and stroked his thumbs over them softly. He bent forward and brought the hands to his lips to kiss the tips of Hayato’s digits.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should show you once again why your hands are so important.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato felt his face warming up. The mere thought of grabbing his boyfriend's throat and being in charge of his pleasure made his stomach twist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu looked back at him. In this position, on his knees and slightly bent forward, Tsutomu was looking at him from underneath, which made Hayato’s guts churn when he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please?” Tsutomu’s voice was close to a whine, he knew how much Hayato liked it when he was pleading. “Can I watch you finger yourself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato’s heart did a backflip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat in order to keep his voice steady even if he was starting to lose it. He couldn’t let Tsutomu see him like this. He had to be a good </span>
  <em>
    <span>senpai</span>
  </em>
  <span> and show him who was in charge. “I’m not sure, you didn’t say the magic word.” He wouldn’t give it to him that easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu gasped at his mistake. “Senpai?” he quickly rectified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t enough for Hayato.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you only asking because you want to make me feel good about my hands?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No!” Tsutomu blurted out. “We’re talking about your hands for an hour now and I can’t stop myself from imagining all the things they can do. I can’t take it anymore.” He wiggled on his knees. “Please, let me watch senpai.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu’s desperation made Hayato chuckle. He wasn’t laughing at Tsutomu, he was genuinely happy his boyfriend was trying to contain himself for the past hour. He was a very good boy. But he wouldn’t tell him that just yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright. Let’s go to the bedroom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu grabbed Hayato’s hand and jumped off the couch, before leading him hastily towards their room. When he shut the door behind them, he sat on the bed, hands on his knees watching Hayato expectantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sit on the floor,” Hayato commanded. “No touching. Me or yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu nodded vividly. “Yes, Yamagata senpai.” He climbed down the bed while Hayato started undressing himself and went to the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu nodded sternly, he knew what Hayato disappearing into the bathroom meant. He would have it all tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Hayato came back ten minutes later, all cleaned thoroughly, he grabbed the lube in the nightstand drawer, and sat on the edge of the bed, legs wide open. His butt was already sore from the quick cleans he had to do. It was a while since they did the whole shebang, but he wanted to do it tonight. Tonight, he wanted to feel Tsutomu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t touch, but I’ll take requests,” Hayato said as he poured lube onto his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu squeaked. Hayato leaned back on his shoulder and reached between his legs with his coated fingers. He smeared some lube around his hole, while Tsutomu’s eyes were going wide. The cold product was welcomed on his sore rim. Cleaning himself was always uncomfortable but damn he knew soon it would be worth every discomfort. He slipped one finger in, closing his eyes. He heard Tsutomu gasp. Hayato held his breath while his body twitched. When he started moving, he slowly opened his eyes searching for Tsutomu. He found his boyfriend focused on what was happening between his thighs, gaping like he would swallow the whole world. Hayato slipped in a second finger, knowing what effect it would have on him. It was his turn to gasp at the sudden stretch. Tsutomu closed his mouth suddenly with a whimper. He was fidgety, and Hayato could tell he wanted to act but he did nothing as Hayato asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>nh</span>
  </em>
  <span>-Tsutomu? Do you want something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes he needed some encouragement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu’s face went back up to look at Hayato’s, but his eyes kept going down to watch the show.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to participate, Yamagata senpai,” he pleaded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you can’t, Tsutomu. But I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>ah</span>
  </em>
  <span> I take requests.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu let another loud whine escape his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want- </span>
  <em>
    <span>ah</span>
  </em>
  <span> something, Tsutomu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu licked his lips and his eyes focused again on Hayato’s working hand. “No, Yamagata senpai. Thank you, Yamagata senpai,” he said, wiggling on his knees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato did not address his withdrawal. If Tsutomu didn’t ask for anything, he certainly had a good reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you like what you’re seeing?” Hayato said in a teasing tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Yamagata senpai! I like it a lot!” he exclaimed in the same way he congratulated Wakatoshi earlier. It made Hayato’s heart swell. Finally his Tsutomu was back. Finally his Tsutomu was all eyes on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato began to stretch his fingers and Tsutomu bit his lips. Hayato could see the bulge in his boyfriend's pants but said nothing. Their silent play continued until Hayato slipped a third finger in his hole.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Could you-” Tsutomu started before changing his mind again. “Yamagata senpai.” Such a good boy. “Could you- No, nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was very strange. Tsutomu was holding back for some reason. Hayato should have asked him why, but he decided to trust him and ask later. It was how they worked, they trusted each other, and nothing was urgent enough if they didn’t make the choice of discussing it right away. It was a motto they applied with the conviction the other would always communicate on his needs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato withdrew his hand slowly. He hissed at the sudden cold he felt on his inside. He closed his legs slowly and Tsutomu looked back at his face with an interrogating look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go grab the keys please, Tsutomu.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu knew what it meant. He rose up on his legs with difficulty considering the uncomfortable position he held for a long time, but when he was on his feet he ran toward the living room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During this time, Hayato grabbed a tissue on the nightstand and wiped his fingers, before searching again in the drawer until he found what he would use to put Tsutomu at his mercy tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His boyfriend came back with a delighted smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I took yours, Yamagata senpai.” Tsutomu was beaming from ear to ear. “Because they have more charms attached to them.” He shook his hand to make the set of keys rattle to prove his point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato smiled at his enthusiasm. “Good call, babe. Very clever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the one being choked couldn’t speak, it was impossible to use safe words during asphyxiation plays. In order for Tsutomu to be able to communicate with Hayato, he would hold the keys in his fist and drop them when he wanted Hayato to release the pressure. The sound of the keys falling on the floor or the bed would be the cue for Hayato to loosen his grip around his boyfriend's throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was the thing you wanted to ask earlier?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu scratched the back of his head, “Ah, it’s nothing, I wanted to ask you to be on all fours, but I figured I wanted to see your face more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato’s heart winced at the confession, “Good choice, because you won't see it again until you come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled out the long thick black satin ribbon from the drawer. Tsutomu’s smile vanished and his eyes widened as he understood what his senpai wanted to do with him. He straightened his back and stood tall on his feet, chin slightly tilted up, holding his breath, waiting for his senpai to give orders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato chuckled, pleased with the effect the simple sight of the ribbon had on his boyfriend. “Undress and come lay on your back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu didn’t need to be told twice. He tried to undress so quickly the keys still in his hand clung to his shirt and he had a hard time untangling himself from it. Hayato smiled fondly at the cute display of eagerness. Once Tsutomu was lying on the bed, Hayato gave him the next instructions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must have already guessed, but I’m gonna blindfold you with the ribbon.” He climbed over Tsutomu’s lap and bent over him until his lips were close to his ear. “I’m gonna cover your eyes. I want you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato could feel his kouhai tensing up under him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Perfect’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he knotted  the ribbon tight enough around Tsutomu’s head, he grabbed his hand still holding the keys and placed it over the edge of the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know the drill babe, you let go when you want me to release the pressure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu’s adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. He nodded firmly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to hear you say it Tsutomu.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes, Yamagata senpai,” he breathed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good boy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato could feel Tsutomu’s body writhing with expectation under him. He reached between his thighs to grab Tsutomu’s cock and aligned it with his hole. They both held their breaths. Hayato breathed out steadily while sinking down slowly on his boyfriend's length. He couldn’t rush it if he didn’t want to hurt himself. Tsutomu let out a loud cry. The room was soon filled with the sound of their panting mouths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna start moving slowly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes Yamagata senpai!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both groaned at the friction. It had been a while since Hayato had Tsutomu’s dick up his ass, but it was worth every little discomfort. He could feel the shaft of his boyfriend’s dick lightly brushing against his prostate and it felt amazing. Tsutomu was spilling words of adoration beneath him. After some long and slow thrusts his hips started bucking up to meet Hayato’s rhythm. Hayato recognized it as his cue for the main event to begin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slowly slid his hands towards Tsutomu’s neck, making sure to linger long enough passing his chest, nipples and collar bone to make him understand what was about to happen. He felt him tensing up a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Could you swallow your saliva one last time for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited to see Tsutomu’s adam’s apple bob up and down distinctly, then he wrapped his fingers around his boyfriend’s throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now take a good inhale baby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He perceived Tsutomu’s rib cage filling up with air, and he suddenly tightened his grip just under his boyfriend’s jawline, where it was all soft. He could feel the blood flowing in the arteries and the pulse throbbing under the pressure. Tsutomu was right, he was precise with his digits, only he knew where to apply the pressure perfectly. He squeezed his hand, on either side of his throat and clamped hard, thus depriving his boyfriend’s brain from air and blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With his hold firmly in place, he rocked his hips harder working on his pleasure, knowing Tsutomu would soon feel in one go everything he was giving to him. The more he bounced the more his fingers clasped at the tanned and delicate neck. He felt a certain sense of power knowing the other life was depending on him. On his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he felt his climax coming up he held it, waiting, eyeing Tsutomu’s body language to make sure everything was alright, and not lose himself in pleasure. The tension in Tsutomu’s body began to ease, his head was lolling softly against the pillow and his limbs going limp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato saw the set of keys leaving Tsutomu’s fist before he heard it hit the floor. From this point everything went quick. He hastily released his throat while pounding harder on his cock, catching up with his building orgasm. He heard Tsutomu’s mouth gasping for air while his back arched from the bed. The hand which was choking Tsutomu a second before tore the blindfold away from his head. The sudden air and blood all rushing through Tsutomu’s brain made his sensations duplicate by thousands. Tsutomu’s face was a mess. His eyes were wide open, wet and red at the rim. Hayato smirked down at him, giving him a show he knew would blow him away, before slamming down on his length once again. His whole body tensed up when he reached his peak. His hole clenched around Tsutomu’s cock while his cum spilled across his chest. His senses were lost in the void for a second while slamming hard again. Tsutomu’s hips buckled up frantically, a silent cry trying to escape his ravaged throat while his orgasm hit him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato stilled himself while Tsutomu’s body was writhing under him as he tried to cope with the overwhelming sensations. He let him work up his orgasm without interfering, until Tsutomu was lying still, a raspy breath wheezing from his mouth, eyes still wide open as if he was seeing the world around him for the first time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato lowered himself, his thigh muscles sore, his boyfriend’s now soft cock slipping out of him. He leaned forward and cupped Tsutomu’s jaw in his hands, stroking his thumb over the tear trailed cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you feeling okay?” Hayato said, a soft smile on his face. “You don’t need to talk, rest your voice for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu nodded weakly. Hayato got up off his hips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll bring back some water.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato grabbed the pitcher on the desk and went to the bathroom to fill it with cold water. When he came back, the pitcher in one hand and a wet hand towel in the other, Tsutomu hadn’t moved a bit, except his eyes were now closed and a steady breath was making his chest going up and down slowly. He looked so serene, Hayato paused a moment to admire him fondly until Tsutomu opened one eye, a tired smile slowly drawing on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Tsutomu tried to say, but it came off more as a croak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh, don’t try to talk please.” Hayato scowled at him. He paused a moment then added, “You’re beautiful, s’all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu's smile grew wider and he reached a hand in Hayato’s direction, grasping at the air, silently saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>“come here”</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One moment, I will take care of you first, and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to drink.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato hung the towel on the back of the desk chair and filled a glass with water before bringing it to Tsutomu. Tsutomu propped himself up on his elbows and chugged down the water in one go. Hayato took it back and refilled it one more time before giving it back to him. While Tsutomu sipped his water more carefully this time, Hayato grabbed the towel and began to wash the sweat and cum off his boyfriend’s body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they were all cleaned up Hayato as usual made sure Tsutomu’s trachea and larynx were alright. His neck was now decorated with long purple strokes. At work, he would cover it with a choker (how ironic) and his teammates would just assume he had an interesting style. Tsutomu let himself be pampered and looked over, it was the part he liked the best, and Hayato knew it as he always took extra time taking care of his kouhai. Hayato insisted they brushed their teeth before going to bed. As he said: </span>
  <em>
    <span>“cleaning your mouth would prevent any hypothetical micro wounds from getting infected</span>
  </em>
  <span>”. In Hayato’s opinion there was no such thing as </span>
  <em>
    <span>“too much”</span>
  </em>
  <span> after care, and Tsutomu loved it anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were both facing the mirror, toothbrushes in their mouths going back and forth when suddenly Tsutomu went completely still. His eyes focused on Hayato, arms falling at his side, toothbrush hanging from his mouth comically. Hayato gave him a questioning look, wondering if everything was alright. Then Tsutomu spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you so much,” he said in breath muffled by the toothbrush still in his mouth. He hastily took off the brush and spit the toothpaste in the sink before them and continued, locking his gaze in Hayato’s through the mirror. “I love you so, so much Hayato. If I could, I would shout to the world that you’re mine and I’m yours.” He then mumbled, “No, not good enough.” He turned toward Hayato and took his free hand in his briskly. “If I could, I would marry you!” he exclaimed, his voice still raspy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato’s jaw dropped, his toothbrush slipping from the loose grip of his fingers and falling on the floor. He felt his face burning up. This was what he got living with Tsutomu and his bluntness, he never knew when he’d be flustered by the heartfelt and sudden cheerings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night they both went to bed, content and happy, the panic attack long forgotten. A smile plastered on Tsutomu’s face buried in Hayato’s collarbone and a permanent blush covering Hayato from chest to ears.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>*Epilogue*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On a rainy Sunday morning, they’re eating breakfast on the kitchen counter, when Tsutomu suddenly got up and left his unfinished bowls without a word. Hayato only had the time to see his graceful sculpted bubble butt in tight briefs disappearing through the bedroom’s door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came back, hands behind his back and a toothy smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got something for you, babe,” he said. He came forward while showing a little box he was hiding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato’s breath got caught up in his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, it’s not a ring. I heard you well and clear when we talked about marriage, about its ineffectiveness and the bad values it carries.” Tsutomu sighed, looking down, opening the box. “I just wanted to give you something to remind you of me when you’re doubting yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato let out the breath he was holding. In the box lay a pendant representing </span>
  <em>
    <span>an infinity sign</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An infinity sign?” Hayato asked dumbfoundedly, eyes searching Tsutomu’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- No! What are you taking me for?” Tsutomu pouted. “Of course it’s not an infinity sign! It’s an eight!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayato let out a relieved laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I perfectly know what it was.” Hayato said, cutting him mid sentence. “It was the number I always was looking up to in my third year of high school.” He got up in his turn, approaching Tsutomu. “I watched this number so much, it was engraved in my pupils.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsutomu chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not kidding,” Hayato continued. “This number was literally in my dreams sometimes.” He braced his arms around Tsutomu’s waist, pulling him close to himself. “This number was able to cheer me up during my darkest times.” He stood on the tip of his toes to kiss his boyfriend’s nose. “And it still does.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>Here's my Twitter: @Bagarella25<br/>Don't be afraid to come talk to me I always answer! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧</p></blockquote></div></div>
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